Paloma Faith wins this year's Quality Street impersonator competition
Set in the scenic valleys surrounding Eastnor Castle in Herefordshire; The Big Chill is usually a pain in the ring to pitch up to. However, this year the organisers finally got their bums in gear and sensibly situated the car parking and camping near to each other, so no more trekking through fields and farms to find them.
The festival was the same; the main stage was at the bottom of a hill, draped with an arty portrait of a girl with her puppies out. No big screens were necessary because everyone could see from the slant.
It certainly didn’t feel like 40,000 people were there, although that’s how many times I heard “Alan” yelled out. I heard it first at the Isle of Wight festival but now it’s much, much worse. For any befuddled festival-goer, when you hear “Alan”, just shout “Steve” and you’ll fit in (it’s from BBC One’s Walk on the Wild Side).
I missed Mike Patton but arrived in time for Thom Yorke. Meandering my way to the front through a sea of chatterboxes, I became mesmerized by the music – like I do every time I see him.
After a string of songs performed on piano and guitar, Thom sang Give Up the Ghost and began a synthesized loop. He casually announced afterwards that it was a new Radiohead song, to which the crowd went bananas.
Chrome Hoof do their thing ...
Massive Attack followed with a dancy headline set of new songs, without forgetting to throw in Angel and Teardrop for good measure. It was a crying shame that the guest vocalist, Martina Topley-Bird, was blander than a crusty old rice cake during Teardrop. Bring back Elizabeth Fraser immediately please.
After Massive Attack most people headed for the hills to inhale some increasingly popular Nitrous Oxide balloons before passing out. I opted for some psychedelic pop and threw some shapes to Chrome Hoof, who wore silver-hooded space suits resembling something from Logan’s Run.
Waking up on Saturday with a severe case of booze flu, I made my way to the Monkey Shoulder Tree House for some whiskey mules and a free t-shirt designed by the Graffiti Kings. Feeling light-headed from the spray paint, I lay with the hoards of sleepers and chilled to The Jolly Boys’ reggae renditions of Rehab, Perfect Day and The Passenger.
Kelis dragged me back into dance-mode with her cover of Lori Campbell’s Army Dreamers and a brilliant remix of Holiday and I Hate You So Much Right Now. The tent glowed with purple paper lanterns and the vibe was voltaic.
Mainstream MC, Roots Manuva, hit us with some funky hip-hop tracks including the crowd-pleaser Witness.
Some Morcheeba?
Keeping an eye on the time, I ran to the main stage for M.I.A’s Paper Planes. Maya asked us to join her for the last song, so we did. Two hundred of us. Carnage.
After a disappointing finale music-wise, I perked up by ambling between Mr Scruff’s tea-tent and Paradiso to catch Primal Scream’s Producer, Andy Weatherall, spinning some vinyl (or whatever you’re meant to say about DJs), before running up the hill and lighting some lanterns.
On Sunday 700 body-painted extroverts gathered at 7:30am for some nakedness with Spencer Tunick. Suspended from a window-cleaning crane, Spencer snapped six different shots before disappearing into the distance.
Catching the tail end of Norman Jay’s Sunday set with a remix of Jay-Z’s Empire State of Mind, I settled by the main stage for the soothing sounds of Morcheeba. After a seven-year break, Syke Edwards is back as lead vocalist and poured her heart and soul into the performance that included songs old and new. She came across as sweet and chatty, asking if we liked her red dress that she made herself.
Grabbing a quick pint before Paloma Faith, I saw another down-to-earth Londoner, Lilly Allen, walking her dog “Mabel” around the Guest area. Recently impregnated Lilly looked laid back, even though she was surrounded by cider-swigging smokers.
Paloma energised the arena with her sexy wiggles and quirky chit-chat about blowing two-foot lube bubbles on a roof in Hackney.
Dressed as a purple Quality Street she stole the show with her Korgis cover of Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometimes and Etta James’ At Last. The girl can sing.
That was my fourth Big Chill and I’ll definitely be returning next year. If my liver lasts that long.
