Could have done better?
Having watched cycle (that means series in BNTM-speak) six of Britain’s Next Top Model in its entirety, both Mrs TV and I were very much looking forward to finding out who would be crowned the winner in last night’s live final on Living TV.
I must admit, before transmission, we were both a little concerned how the programme makers were going to fill an hour and a half of live television with what was essentially a results show, but having enjoyed the 13 episodes up to now, we decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and settled in at 9pm.
What followed was both of our worst nightmares rolled into one.
Enter below-par presenter, Dave Berry. Yes, it was going to be a glamorous evening of sub Carry On innuendo and poorly timed wit and wisdom the likes of which has never been seen before outside of Channel 5, BBC Three and ITV 2 … yeah, that’s where you’ll usually find him.
Add to the mix a rather tacky shiny set, many long silences as the presenters and director tried to work out what they were doing next and a lot of ad breaks … are you starting to get the idea?
Preceded by several minutes of VT where the contestants worshipped the ground she walked on, Elle Macpherson turned up on set and fairly quick made it clear she wasn’t going to be doing much apart from sitting on the sofa showing off her shiny gold dress for the rest of the evening.
Joined by her three judges, Julian MacDonald, Grace Woodward and Charley Speed, the awkward four set about smiling and occasionally delivering news of the bloody obvious when Berry stumbled upon them to speak.
MacDonald perhaps came out with the most insightful comment of the evening when he mused, “There can only be one winner tonight, only one of these girls can be Britain’s Next Top Model.” Wow … you can only imagine what inane clap trap the others voiced.
It turned out that the live final was primarily about how many things could be promoted in it, rather than which girl was the best model.
The producers had made it very clear that they didn’t care if the most talented girl won by not allowing the four assembled ‘fashion experts’ to decide, but instead to turn the competition into a viewers phone vote … a popularity contest if you will … at 50 pence a time. Is that how that usually do it over at Models 1?
Instead of recording film of a final challenge for the three finalists, Joy, Alisha and Tiffany … the bosses instead opted to make the girls parade around time and again to musical acts looking to promote their new singles.
First it was the boyband who will never go away, McFly, then a masterclass in the use of Auto-Tune by girl group The Saturdays, and finally Tinchy Stryder got his moment in the sun.
What was I watching? Had someone brought back the Pepsi Chart Show?
The tackiness of the whole majorette style parade made the beautiful young models look nothing more than backing dancers for a pop group … is everything the X Factor now?
Don’t worry, there were a couple of VTs that actually involved modelling … a two minute glimpse at the girls doing a cover shoot and a flashback of their ‘best-bits’ when they were eliminated … plus more reminders that 50 pence votes were still available for sale.
The heartstrings were pulled when the producers chose to show video of the prospective model’s families back home … they managed tears from Alisha, but Joy, Tiffany, and most of the viewing audience remained unmoved.
The winner of Britain’s Next Top Model 2010 was announced on a video screen to prevent Elle from getting the name wrong as Sarah MacDonald did last week in the Australian version. It was 18-year-old Tiffany Pisani from Malta … hoorah … but by this time I really didn’t care anymore … and Mrs TV (the one who got me watching the show in the first place) had already gone to bed.
Hope for the best and expect the worst is what they say … well, that was the story of my Monday night.
I suppose you shouldn’t expect much more from a show that purports to look for Britain’s Next Top Model with an Australian at the helm and picks a Maltese winner …
I’d say better luck next year, but I don’t think I’ll be watching, sorry.
It was absolutely rubbish! Way to ruin the series! When they announced the winner you couldn’t even see who it was, all you saw was a picture flash up on a screen in the studio and someone scream. What a waste of time that was, in future stick to a normal, ‘judges decide’ final
Mcfly made the show, i think there music just keeps getting better and better
I agree with every word you wrote. Utter rubbish. All this fiasco needed was high-kicking showgirls and Bruce Forsythe to complete my misery. I, like your wife, didn’t even bother to wait for the winner to be declared. I just didn’t care. In future, I shall stick to America’s Next Top Model.
You were right, it were balls. Dan