Cheap car insurance?
London Zoo. I haven’t been here since I was two. I have a vague memory of an elephant being led (at a distance) through one of the tunnels after feeding time. I don’t know whether that ever happened, but I’m old enough to pre-date health and safety, so it’s a possibility. But then, I’m old enough to remember Windsor Safari Park (that’s Legoland to you kids), so maybe it was there instead…
Anyway, there aren’t any elephants left at London Zoo now. God knows what drove them out. High rents? Victorian sewer systems? The congestion charge? Like much of the middle-aged, they’ve relocated to Bedfordshire, but their legacy survives. And so I find myself at the pavilion beside their old abode (oddly inhabited by African birds and wallabies – I wonder what they make of each other?) to watch Sky’s latest genre foray into 3D.
It seems strange to go to a zoo to watch a wildlife documentary. After all, the real things are just round the corner. But Sky have got me through the zoo gates, so I resolve to give it a shot. Besides, where else could I wear kooky glasses and eat apple danishes on a workday?
So – meerkats. We just love them, don’t we? Abramovich and Lebedev can go to hell, but Alexander Orlov is the oligarch of the people.
Alexander Orlov was finding the paps a little intrusive...
But our love affair with these fluffy critters goes back far deeper than dodgy accented spokesmammals. Perhaps the first BBC Wildlife documentary I remember was about their familial ways. As an eight-year-old in a middle-class home, seeing anyone chew with their mouth open was a rare treat, and these curious, inquisitive animals with their bohemian table manners swiftly won my heart. Asking me to enthuse about meerkats is like shooting fish in a barrel, but Attenborough sets a pretty high benchmark…
One which Meerkats 3D more than lives up to. The first episode, produced by National Geographic Channel, introduces us to a lively little bunch headed by matriarch Clinky. In all my years of meerkat-fandom, I never knew that meerkats formed matriarchal groups in which only the lead female is the only one to breed. So Sky’s documentary uses the information supplied by Oxbridge experts well.
Information is all well and good – it is a documentary – but what I want is a bit of drama. Meerkats 3D has it in spades. To quote the press release, “Meerkats (Suricata suricatta) are funny, affectionate, cuddly, playful, fearless and unselfish. They are also vicious, ruthless, murderous, uncaring, vindictive child-killers.” Duality. Nice.
A cross between a soap and a survival film, the perils of gang turf wars, murderous predators and teen pregnancy under homicidal matriarchs makes the Kalahari look like a far less appealing place than even Walford. The show’s not without comedy either as we get to know the personalities of the clan’s main characters – Miss Bean could be the reality TV star of the year. Essentially, it’s the new Lost, only far more informative and less likely to lead to disappointment after six tedious seasons.
Shotting meerkats with a 3D rig...
And I haven’t even got to the USP (unique selling point) yet: the 3D. Meerkats 3D proves that Sky has far, far bigger plans for the technology than just sports and movies. Documentary is all about realism, and Meerkats 3D puts the viewer in the heart of the action. There are several shots during the first episode that announce the technology’s arrival as a justifiable expense. While I admire any cameraman who can manage to capture a diving bird or approaching lizard in frame, the impact is more spectacular when their talons skewer and tongue probe towards you. Thankfully an angry cobra didn’t utilise the same effect (striking snakes give me the heeby-jeebies), but judging by some audience members’ reactions – an emphatic ‘Uh-oh’ from a five-year-old brought titters – the third dimension is an impressive inclusion.
Lusting for more and screening over, I head round the corner to spy the zoo’s resident meerkat clan. Apparently, the macmummy is called Pipsqueak. But that’s a story for another day…
Meerkats 3D will be shown on the Sky 3D channel on Sunday 16th October at 8pm for more information visit www.sky.com/3D . The 2D version of Meerkats will be simulcast on Sunday 16th October at 8pm on Nat Geo.
