Gok’s Fashion Fix
Channel 4, Tuesday May 25th, 8pm
Rating: 
“Move over Milan”, fine …
“Forget Paris”, done …
“Never mind New York”, never really cared for the place myself … but continue …
“I’m on a mission to put our Great British towns on the fashion map.” Oh, right, I wasn’t aware of that map, and I’ve got an Open University degree in cartography … well I can’t wait to see it Gok, if that really is your name.
Yes, he’s back … bigger, louder and camper than ever in a new series of the ultimate wardrobe makeover show (not making over wardrobes, that’s Home Invaders … it’s their contents Gok’s got his eye on … ooh, pardon!)
Look mate, I’m not interested in fashion or women’s clothes … don’t go trying to blind me with science to get me watching …
“67 % buy their clothes from the hight street” … where else can you buy clothes? The Internet?
“59% have clothes more than five years old in their wardrobe” Oh, is that bad?
“54% only wear a skirt or dress on special occasions” … me too, actually, oh goodness, I must make more of an effort … what can I do Gok?
And so it begins …
It’s the first in a new series and Mr Wan is in West Bromwich (the home of style) to pick one lucky lady to get a load of free clothes. Such is the excitement amongst the local women that when Gok asks for a volunteer they can hardly deprecate themselves fast enough to catch his eye. “I have a terrible wardrobe … and I’m an idiot … I need your help” … “look at me, I’m fat … and I’m so bad at shopping I buy men’s clothes by accident … and I’ve been wearing the same pants for fifteen years” … “I’m a hermaphrodite … where can I shop, what about me?!”* … yeah these women want it bad.
In the end, after getting the women to re-enact the multicoloured swap shop with their ‘rubbish’ clothes, Gok chooses Mandy to go on the fashion trip of a lifetime … and we have to go along for the ride.
Now, if by this stage you’re getting a bit bored of Gok and his ordinary ladies, in comes former Fall guitarist Brix Smith-Start, who has taken a hiatus from post-punk strumming to become Britain’s most annoying television personality. She has an ongoing feud with Gok … it goes something like this … she spends lots of money on clothes, he buys everything from H&M … the end. Somehow the producers spin this out into several series of bitching and arguing the toss, which it appears contractually Gok must win, as the champion of the common person, and cheap clothes.
This is a long hour of television for two reasons.
Firstly, the subject matter saddens me … fashion. Whether dressed up as ‘helping’ people empower themselves or save money … the fact that anyone is made to feel it’s a problem that they have five year old clothes, like wearing jeans or don’t have the fake ‘designer look’ is frankly a load of old arse.
Secondly, this is a tired format indeed. Makeover shows generally are boring and repetitive, this is no different. It has a little charm, and as much as you quite warm to Gok himself … a bit … after a while (primarily as a result of seeing the abhorrent Brix) … he needs to think of something new if he’s going to keep this “fashion express” on the rails much longer.
… I’m off to Primark.
