We’re all lying in the gutter, but Libby Fox should be staring at the stars – but she’s not – she’s hanging around in Walford with Josie Lawrence and Mintie.
Yes, more Eastenders (other programmes are available)
Everyone knew that Libby would do well academically, just look at her big annoying specky face. However, when she won a place at Oxford University the residents of London’s friendliest inner city dive were truly impressed (after all Michelle Fowler, the last brain box of the Square only went to Walford Community College.)
Why then is Libby never at her unspecified college?
Now, Oxford terms are short, but Libby has only been away for a total of three weeks since October, and since Christmas she’s been hanging around like a bad smell. What’s more, now she’s roped in Josie Lawrence’s screen son, the pasty wheelchair –bound misanthrope, Adam, who is also meant to be an Oxford student, and also never leaves the bloody Square.
Curious to find out what was happening, Mike TV called the admissions office below the dreaming spires and a nice lady confirmed that term started on Sunday 17 January and runs until Saturday 13 March.
“What would happen if a student missed 70 per cent of their course over two terms?” Mike TV asked.
There was a pause … “It’s not my place to say, but … I would imagine that student may find themselves in difficulties.”
So, perhaps Libby has more problems than we first thought – she’s been sent down as well as having a homicidal avenging angel for a step-father, a boyfriend who shagged and impregnated “Fat Heather” and a father secretly buried under a tree in the middle of the Square …
She’s not staring at the stars at all, she’s face down in the deep brown, poor cow.